How to overcome impostor syndrome as a new Virtual Assistant
Types of Imposter Syndrome:
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So I just want to talk a little about imposter syndrome. I think we all do this from time to time and I get it. I’ve done it myself, self-aware of where I these thoughts and I push past them. Val: So I kind of want to give you guys if you’re just starting or you’re experienced, and you’re just not getting the clients. Landing the high paying clients you want, this is going to help you decide. Maybe you’re this person and it’s okay, but it’s okay to recognize it and then to move on so you can start having the confidence to land those clients and know your expertise and believe in yourself so you can grow your business and make that money and serve your clients powerfully. Val: So here are some types of imposter syndrome. If one of these applies to you, just in the comments say, yep, that’s me and say which one you are. Say yep, I’m, I’m a so-and-so that I said. It’s okay, and it’s okay to label yourself. But the one thing is when you realize that, I want you guys to find a way to overcome that. Because moving past that in your business, it’s going to skyrocket your business. The whole point of entrepreneurship is personal growth. It’s such a personal growth journey and the more we grow as people, the more we can help others, no matter what. In whatever business we’re in. So I just wanted to say that straight out before we get started here. I also wanted to see, I don’t have my comments up, so if you guys could hold on a second. I’m going to be able to see what the live stream people are saying here. So let me see what I can do here. Val: Okay, I’ll come back to the comments if there’s any later on. So here’s the first type of person that let me know if you guys fall into this category of imposter syndrome. The perfectionist. The perfection is you have like super excessively high goals for yourself and you fear you won’t reach them because of self-doubt and measuring up. You’re always comparing yourself to somebody else. You know you want to be like this next person. If you’re a virtual assistant, you want to start your agency and you want to be, I don’t know, a big agency out there like Upwork or something, but you fear that you won’t reach it. So you have this self-doubt in measuring up and that just gets you paralyzed basically from moving forward and growing and figuring out the next step in your process. Val: That’s the perfectionist. He has to get everything right and not make mistakes, which is we all make mistakes. That’s how we learn. So the perfectionist, that would be me, I fall into this category. So I understand. But being perfect is an impossible ideal to set for yourself because what is perfect? It’s a measure. Who sets that bar? It’s all in our head. See if it’s all in your head, you think somebody else is perfect. Well, and you’re not then. So it’s a standard you’re comparing yourself to a standard that is just not a standard. It’s just a made-up story in your head, to be honest with you. So just move forward with your goals. Put the blinders on where somebody else is. Because where somebody else is, they built an agency already. It could’ve taken them years to do that and you’ll never know. It just looks like they’re an overnight success and just isn’t the case. It’s usually five to 10 years of hard work. Val: So just let it be known that, and don’t compare yourself and maybe even ask them for advice. You’ll never know what you’ll learn. It’s always something to learn. And it’s okay to make mistakes because you’re learning every single time. A mistake is not a failure either. It’s just an opportunity to grow and learn. So keep that in mind and always remember that. Do not beat yourself up for not being perfect, it’s an impossible place to reach. You’ll never satisfy yourself, and you’ll constantly trying to be better and you’ll never reach a position where you will be. So it’s a never-ending goal that you’ll never beat for yourself. So do not be a perfectionist. Just be one step better than you were the day before or five minutes ago. And always be trying to learn. And that’s the only way to be better. Val: So the second one I want to talk about is genius. And this is great too because I think I’m a little of all these. I’m a conglomeration at times, depending on what I’m thinking. But the geniuses, they feel their success is built on their abilities rather than their efforts. They fear that working hard on something disproves their intelligence. So not true. Your success is not built on your abilities, I’m sorry, on your efforts. It is proved by your abilities. We need to be learning, we need to be growing. If you want to learn something and be good at it, then you need to be doing it and the only way to be doing that is to be trying to do it. Val: If you don’t think you’re good enough to do something, you think that you need to try harder, and you need to be better at doing it. You need to learn more to be a genius, right? I need to learn more about how to do this before I can do it. I need to learn more about this before I can do it, and then you never do. And all you’re doing is learning and you’re not implementing. To learn, test, implement, repeat. Learn it and then go implement it immediately. That is how you retain the information and that is the only way you can become the genius so to speak. Because that is also an unreachable aspect. You’ll never be a genius. I don’t know what bar sets that other than taking Mensa. It’s ridiculous. I mean, when I say it that way, it sounds ridiculous, right? Val: But we do this in our heads and it sounds logical at the time, but it’s just our brain talking us into limiting beliefs to keep us from growing and being amazing because our brain is just trying to protect us. We need to overcome the fear. Do it anyway, overcome the fear and do it anyway. You’re like, I need to learn more about this, how about you just go try to do it? Try to do it for somebody for free and then if you make a mistake, heck, this person is already getting value because you’re offering them a free service. A lot of people suggest not doing that. They said, don’t offer your business for free. If you are just starting, offer to do it for a friend, for free. Offer a friend to do it for free. That’s the only way you’re going to get testimonials. Build your portfolio, get experience. It’s the only way to do it. Val: Or offer to do it at a reduced price, a super reduced price until you get good at it and you can feel it and you’ll know it. You feel you’re confident in it and then you can up your prices. That’s the way you should do it. Do not think you need to know every little aspect of everything. I use click funnels and I think I’m pretty darn good at it, but I by far do not know everything. I answer a lot of questions about tech and how to set things up and how to design it. I do all that stuff, but there are still things that I just don’t know and I got to go back and look at help documents myself because there are questions that come up that I just haven’t experienced. And once I go there oh, I can’t answer this question, but if I go and look at the help documents, learn a way to do it, then I can go tell them to that, and they experience it and get the result. Val: And that makes me more confident in offering that solution the next time. It’s the only way we’re going to learn is by offering. Do not be a genius and try to learn everything. Be good at one fricking thing. And if you want to learn other things, go try it out, test it out, offer it at a reduced price or free until you feel, and if you do a good job on it that first time, then there you go. You know you can do it. Up your prices. Value your worth and your work. Val: The third one I want to talk about is a Superwoman, Superman imposter syndrome. And this is the fear that asking for help will reveal that they’re an imposter and fear asking for assistance. Seriously, this is huge. And a lot of times it’s ego waste because we feel like we have to know everything. A little bit of the genius, but it’s kind of a derivative of it because we feel like; you’re a phony working around real talent so you push yourself to work harder. Do you know what I mean? You’re a real phony working alongside real talent. There is no real bad way. You can be amazing at one thing and you’re building your experience with other things. It’s you’re just comparing yourself again. And you also feel others are real phonies, working alongside real talent. So you point that out and you make him push out. You call him out and you say they’re phony. Don’t do that crap. That’s horrible. Let this person learn. They’re trying to better themselves. Val: Offer them some advice before you start pointing the finger and vice versa. If somebody is doing that to you, you understand that it’s the Superwoman, Superman imposter syndrome. There might be some issue that they see in you, that they have that you possess a better quality than them and they’re going to call you out on it, and I absolutely can’t stand that and there’s nothing you can do about how other people react to you. That’s more about them than it is about you at all. Just push it off and keep moving forward. It is not personal at all. It is something that is triggering inside of them that is wrong with them and they’re pushing it on to you. So flex and move on. Val: The individualist is the next imposter syndrome and they fear that asking for help will reveal that they are an imposter and fear asking for assistance. I messed those up. Sorry. The Superman, Superwoman is phonies working alongside real talent. Then they try to call him out and people will do to you too and then try to call you out as being in a phony when you’re not. Okay. Everybody starts somewhere. That’s an ego-based reaction and it’s their issue, not yours. Val: But this one is also personal. Fear that asking for help will reveal them as an imposter and fear asking for assistance. I know there are a lot of times that people feel that if they don’t know it all, they’re not an expert and they can’t help anybody and they shouldn’t ask for help. This is also ego-based and internally for you because we cannot possibly know everything about everything. It’s just impossible. It’s an idea. Once again it’s a farce. Absolutely. Find people you trust and that support you and know more than you, and ask them for help because they will assist you in areas that you are weaker in and vice versa. They’ll come to you and ask for your help. Have a network of people to ask out. Facebook groups are great. There are virtual assistant groups there that are wonderful on Facebook that you can ask the question and you will have 30 responses and everybody supports you because we’re all on the same page and we get it. Val: And I love communities and there’s a lot of those on Facebook. Very positive, helpful communities. Click funnels have one too. It’s super, super positive and you’ll get a lot of very helpful answers. So do not be afraid to ask for assistance. And a lot of people are afraid to ask for assistance because a lot of these other people have the Superman Superwoman imposter syndrome going on, and they’ll call you out that you’re dumb. Don’t listen to that. And just block those conversations out and work with people that are willing to work with you. Okay? The individualist is never going to, you can’t do it all by yourself. There’s absolutely no reason you should have to either. And if you’re not comfortable with doing something and you know somebody else is amazing, you can outsource stuff. Val: Yes, as a virtual assistant, you can outsource other things too. You can build an agency, you can build a collaboration where you refer your clients that need help in a specific category to a friend that you know is amazing with it and vice versa. That this is, that’s an amazing way to network with people and build those contacts too, so that is a way to go. You don’t think you have to help everybody because you don’t know one thing, you go and refer them out. The client will appreciate you for doing that, as well as the person that you refer them to and it will come back to you. Believe me. That’s good karma. It comes back always. Val: The other imposter syndrome is, this is very typical too. The expert. You feel like somehow they tricked you into hiring them or something and they fear being exposed. I can’t even explain that one. If they feel like they somehow tricked someone into hiring them, they fear being exposed. I guess they feel guilty because they don’t think they know as much. They want to be an expert, but once they get hired they started having these limiting beliefs that they’re not as good as they think they are, and that somehow or another this person will find out they’re a fraud. That’s ridiculous and that is limiting belief and that will hold you back from even getting clients, to begin with, because they can sense this stuff. Even in your writing as well as your speaking. So if you don’t know something, calmly say, “I don’t know.” Maybe you don’t want to say, “I don’t know,” be like “I will find out an answer for you.” Val: There are some people you need to network with to get those questions answered. So go into those communities and ask. It’s okay. You don’t have to know everything. As long as you have a positive referral network and a network of people who are willing to help you, you can ask those questions. So you don’t have to know everything. You’re not going to be exposed as being a phony. Just be honest with what you know and what you don’t know and what your experience level is when you’re hired. And then do your best. Give 100% that’s all you can ask for. And that’s all you should ask for you. As an individual, you should be finding the resources you need to do your work. And sometimes that means asking other people for help. I guess that can be a huge fear is that you won’t get the help of people who will look at you like you’re not the expert. It’s okay, move on. Everybody needs help with everything. No one can do anything alone. So understand that. Val: So those are the main ones that I wanted to go over with today. You have the perfectionist, the genius, the Superman, the Superwoman, the individualists, the expert and yes, and I just expounded on the individualist again. So those are the ones. Which one applies to you? I’d love to hear your comments. I think when I first started, I was the individualist and because I didn’t want to ask for help, I did everything myself in my business. I coded my website all by myself. At one point this was back in 2010, which was self coding, I forgot a lot of the CSS that goes along with it. So it’s nice that we have these awesome, amazing WordPress sites and click funnels that can build stuff super quickly and a lot easier with the page builders now. Val: But back then I struggled to like the perfectionist. I get it. You don’t want to make a mistake, but we all make mistakes and it’s the only way you’re going to learn. The genius, we can’t know it all. And if you keep studying, trying to think you need to learn more without implementing, you’re never going to move forward. You’re just not going to help people. Go out and help people first. Learn something, go out and help somebody with something you just learned and implement it right away. And the expert, don’t feel less than because you just got this huge contract with a high paying client. Awesome. You’re probably more than qualified. Go serve them 110% and don’t feel like you tricked somebody into hiring you. You didn’t. You deserved it. Just go out and do your work. So that’s my episode today on how to overcome impostor syndrome as a new virtual assistant. Val: And the title of it, if I didn’t tell you at the beginning, is Imposter Syndrome, beating tricks that all virtual assistants and service providers need to know. This is part of the Funnel Creator Secrets podcast. I’m Val Kuikman. I hope you guys tune in again on the live stream. You can sign up to get live notifications right before I go live. I’ll post a link under this video for that. And also if you’d like to subscribe to my podcast, you can do so. iTunes, Stitcher, Google Play, all those places. So go there, subscribe, please leave a review. I’d appreciate it and hope you guys have a wonderful day. Take care.